Saturday, March 12, 2011

Remembering Where I Came From




Before I lost my weight, I had so much sickness and chronic pain.   This picture is back in 2006 when my husband took our precious Pongo in the trails.  He would record with his camera the beauty of God's land for me to be able to see since I couldn't go with them.   This was the worst time in my entire life.  I had a video I wanted to share, but it did not import for some reason. 

Back in 2000, I had to get a disability sign for my car because I couldn't walk far at all. The neuropathy caused me so much pain. I was taking 4000 mg of Neurontin at one point a day to reduce pain, but it made me so foggy and sick. It helped relieve the leg cramps, electric bolts I would get and the burning, stabbing pain that came with it, but not enough to where I could walk normally or for longer than 10 minutes at a time.

I remember when I had to soak in the hot tub every night in hopes to die down the terrible cramps I would suffer.  This was before Neurontin and before the doctors knew what was happening to me.  
I would not be able to sleep with sheets touching my feet because it was so painful.  My feet would be so hot that I'd sit in the dark on top of our bathroom sink soaking them in ice water.  I remember crying a lot, wondering if I was ever going to be able to overcome this torment.

In 2006, I remember one day at work I wanted to take the stairs so bad to prove to myself I wasn't an old woman at a mere age of 38. I had no strength in my legs or body for that matter at that time because I never used them I was unable use them.

I started down the steps and SNAP a tendon tore in my left ankle, which was the worst neuropathy foot. I couldn't make it down the steps without assistance of my friends at work. I was mortified, but they understood.

I called my husband and he brought me my crutches (I have my own supplies here at the house comes in handy). I don't remember what the podiatrist said about it, except that I have to where a boot for 6 weeks. Ugh!

Another time I remember was when I was sitting on the couch and I reached for my laptop and SNAP there goes my back. That was in 2007 when I was getting sicker and more body fatigue. I was on my back for a few weeks. Luckily I could work from home, I was so fortunate to have a understanding workplace.

I didn't go to the grocery store for about 8 years. My husband had to go, God bless him. When you can't walk for more than 5 or 10 minutes your life completely changes.

I remember laying on the floor here in my living room crying my eyes out because I couldn't go out like a normal person and shop or to walk in the trails with my husband.

He use to literally push me in my wheel chair up in the trails of one of our Nature Parks! I am serious, when was the last time you went to trails? Can you imagine pushing someone who was 60 pounds overweight and disabled up those hills and valleys? Not to mention the holes that are out there. He always did his best to get me out so I wouldn't get so depressed. God blessed me the day he came into my life.

Now just tonight we were talking at dinner that maybe I'll try my hand at running in that same Nature Park this weekend with him! WOW! Amazing what losing weight can do for a person!!!!

I am writing about this because I am in one of those “your fat and worthless” mindset. When I am forced to think back to where I was not long ago, it gets me out of that mentality and helps me understand just how far I've come in such a short time.

Here's where my Handicap sign sits and where I plan on it always sitting!  Its a reminder of where I came from and who I was and I am not that person anymore!  When its time to take the bike out in the Spring, I will hang it somewhere else in my workout room never to forget.

How about you? What do you do to get yourself out of the destructive self talk?


Excerpts from The Motivational Girl are protected by copyright and used here by permission of The Motivational Girl, 2011.

17 comments:

  1. Great minds think alike..my post today was about positive self-talk.

    We need to really remember how far we have come in order to appreciate where we are today. Look at all the accomplishments you have made and I am sure there are many more that you would love to do as well.

    As long as that Handicap sign is hanging anywhere but your rear window, it is a GOOD day !!

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  2. Sheri - What an amazing post! I love the way you have turned your life around. You are the inspiration that tells people anything is possible when you put your mind to it. Remembering where we came from and thinking about where we want to be is so important when it comes to reaching our goals. Love your blog and your story. I can hear the passion and determination whenever you write. Have a fantastic weekend. :-)

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  3. Sheri, I've gone through some things in my life, but I cannot even imagine what you went through. I've never even heard of neuropathy before and I cannot believe that you worked while suffering from that. You must be very strong.

    I am so glad that you've overcome by losing weight and getting healthy. I don't think any of us should forget where we came from. Some people do and it give them that Ex-whatever mentality. You are very inspiring, Sheri.

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  4. @Sweet Pea Amen Sweet Pea! There are a lot more things I'd like to do, but I am pumped with what I've done so far to date.

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  5. @Rachael Oh Rachael you are the sweetest person! Thank you so much for your words! You have a great weekend too!

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  6. Sheri, hearing this whole story you are really amazing!!!!!!!! You have come beyond far & have so much to share! Inspirational to me! YOU ARE WORTH EVERY PENNY as they say & obviously more that just physical as your hubby stuck by you thru thick & thin... fantastic post!

    I want to share it as a guest post sometime if you don't mind..... let me know!

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  7. I got your comment where you mentioned being in a wheelchair...and I was like..WHAT!!! I never knew this about you....and was hoping to either email you to find out what, how, when, how long ago and this evening I come to your blog and its all here ( well in short form as I know there is much more ) and thanks so much for repeating the story as I for one think you have come so far from the wheelchair and overweight days...you are changed forever.....such an inspiration.

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  8. Now if that doesn't get someone moving nothing will. It is amazing how losing some weight makes life so much more reasonable. I know the 50 lbs I have lost has make life easier, better and oh so much more fun.
    Thank you for sharing your story. Take care and have a blessed afternoon.

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  9. @Jody - Fit at 53 Thank you Jody so much for your words of support!! I would be honored to have you share it some time.

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  10. @Marcelle Thank you Marcelle for all your support! We both have chronic diseases that we must fight and your doing one fantastic job!!! Your an inspiration to me as well!

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  11. @Julie Ah,,,thank you Julie!!! Its truly a miracle what has happened I believe. God has answered my prayers, what I didn't know is I had the answer the whole time I just didn't know how to achieve it.

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  12. You are such an inspiration. Overcoming being over weight and the diabetes thing. Wow!
    I too think back to the days when I was obese and that usually help with the self destruction talk.

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  13. What amazing progress you have made, and your story touched me. AND... I sat bolt upright, realizing it's probably been a year since I've had those "stuck by a needle" pains in my legs and feet!! I never had them as constant as you, and can't imagine that.

    But when I read your story, I was DRENCHED by such a feeling of gratitude, and that's when I realized how long it had been. Thank you for helping remind me of that, I am so thankful to be free from it.

    Loretta
    =^..^=

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  14. Good for you, Sheri. I just read your whole story and am so impressed with what you've done. My doctor had a sit down with me about diabetes last fall and I knew I had to make a change. I'm so glad that you were able to turn your health around. You have some serious willpower! Keep it up and don't let Fat Me win. Ever.

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  15. What a wonderful post. I think it's important to reflect on our past, especially when we are feeling down. When I'm feel bad or have the negative self-talk I try to remember that all of the things I've been through have helped shape me into the person I am today, and I like that person. I wouldn't change a thing. So, I know that what ever I am going through currently will either make me stronger, has been something I experienced already (and 'survived') or is just a 'test' to prove that I am still strong and can still appreciate life.

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