As you know the doctor agreed with me to try Insulin injections instead of having to wear my Insulin pump recently. Well, its not working out like I'd hope.
In the past when I would try to go without my pump I would have some really bad hyperglycemia days and feel terrible. When I say terrible, I mean terrible nonfunctional, unable to think for yourself and the neuropathy going crazy.
I spent all day of my Sunday this way. I had registered 257 blood sugar after eating Subways and Baked chips. There is no trying to explain to you just how bad you feel when your blood sugar goes so high. If you never experienced it, count yourself extremely lucky.
When my husband came home from his run, I told him what had happened and he said “you do not know how upset I am that this happened”. My comment back was “be glad you don't live it”. Then I thought about it a second if my husband had a deadly disease I would be feeling the same way he is feeling right now.
The thought of knowing you have no control of your spouses illness has got to be a horrible feeling and I pray I am never faced with that situation. He proceeded to say "I know how much you hate to wear it, but you really need to go back on your pump". That made me feel defeated that Diabetes has one, but that is the wrong attitude to have because its not true. The insulin pump is just a tool that “I need” to keep my blood sugars under control as well as eating smart. I mean really caring shots and needles around and shooting up every time I eat is no different. The difference is I don't have to wear them.
It's hard to accept we have to rely on something to live life. I've been challenged in the past and am challenged now. I just have to remember its a tool one that I need to keep my life where it is today. I do not want anything interfering with my workouts and yesterday I was unable to do the weight lifting that I wanted because of it and it made me mad.
So, the pump is back on and the blood sugar is 97 when I woke up this morning. Granted it isn't a solution to solve Diabetes, but it helps keep my blood sugar more than the other.
Excerpts from The Motivational Girl are protected by copyright and used here by permission of The Motivational Girl, 2011.