Over the last few weeks I’ve see a difference in my attitude. The “I want to eat” attitude regardless of right or wrong or not hungry vs. hungry is back.
I’ve noticed that I will unconsciously grab things from the cupboard rather than planning ahead what I’m going to eat. I’ve also noticed that once I get into a binge there is no stopping me!
I am proud to say I don’t binge daily or weekly, probably monthly which is a HUGE improvement from where I once was in life. However, it gets me so down because I know what I did was wrong and I know what I did will show up on the scale. It will most likely take me 2 weeks to go back to where I want to be.
The question we all have is “why does this happen?” The answer is “because we want it”. Yes, I want to eat like a pig and gorge myself when I do it. I don’t like the consequences my blood sugar going sky high or the bloating for 7 days or the scale going up, but for some reasons those consequences aren’t enough to stop me.
It’s maddening. Why do I want it that bad? Carbohydrates are so addictive, once I decide I’m going to eat off plan with one, it’s like a rolling snow ball affect.
What scares me the most is can I stop it from happening and get back to what I deem is 100% on a regular basis? I use to think so, but the longer I am on maintenance the more I see this scary thought as to “it’s okay to eat this or not measure that”. NOT!
I am challenged everyday to make the right choices and I think what I have to do is just to think of today or else I get overwhelmed with negative thought. Jesus Himself said in Mathew 6:25-27
“For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?
26Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?
27And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?”
So, you’re not alone if your struggling all of us who have lost weight, gained it or maintaining go through the same struggles. I’m going to do my best to continue down the path I have been on for over 2 years now. I can’t give up I love this new life to much.